You finally decided to show up.

Took you long enough.  Like I always told your parents "you have the kids, I'll provide the bad advice." Now hold my beer for a second.

If your parents were only kids, I'm pretty sure you owe me a Christmas Present.  Don't think about it; just send beer or liquor. Now that you mention it, champagne is cool with me too. Or don't and see if I answer your letter. Your choice dude.